


The Fault Is Not In Our Stars, But In Ourselves

by paganeyes



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Bandom - Freeform, Cancer, M/M, The fault in our stars, i guess, joshler - Freeform, stoner josh, tfios au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:16:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8717071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paganeyes/pseuds/paganeyes
Summary: Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun meet at a support group for cancer patients/survivors. Shenanigans ensue.(Or The Fault In Our Stars AU that you didn't know you needed until now.)





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> so this is the first fanfic I've written in quite a while. it's heavily inspired by the fault in our stars, but not everything will be the same. hope you guys enjoy it. please let me know what you think about it! i'll update the list of characters and relationships as i go along, but i'm not sure exactly what i'm doing so for now i'm keeping it simple. anyways. i also uploaded this to my wattpad account which is: tylerbroesph. and yeaaah.

Tyler had always been a healthy child. He was a rising basketball star, "Five-hundred baskets or no dinner," all that crap. Around the age of ten, Tyler had noticed it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe. He worked through it, however, up until one game when he _couldn't_ breathe at all. It was like his lungs just gave up on him while he was on the court and down Tyler went, vision blurring into darkness and a high-pitched ringing in his ears. That's all he remembered about the incident.

Tyler remembered his mother crying and crying. She couldn't even look at him for nearly a week after the doctor had sat them all down and told them that Tyler had thyroid cancer which had spread to his lungs. His lungs were filling with fluid and it didn't look like he had much of a chance. Six months to a year. Tyler didn't really get it. He hadn't even hit puberty yet and his life was over? Totally unfair.

His parents decided to pull him from public school, whether it was because of all the germs or to save him from the ridicule of other children. The only time he was really allowed out of the house was Sunday for Church, but most of the time Tyler would complain about being tired and they'd let him sleep instead. There were perks sometimes to everyone acting like you're made of glass.

Fast forward to age seventeen, three surgeries, a near death experience, and a miracle drug that shrank his lung tumors; Tyler had 'graduated' high school (they sent him his diploma in the mail), and spent most of his days lazing around and playing video games. There were times when he would lock himself up in the basement to play music and write songs, recording them for himself and nobody else. Although the tumors had shrunk, his lungs had pretty much given out so Tyler was forced to carry around an oxygen tank with him at all times. It was kind of easier. A little.

His mother had decided he was depressed because of his lack of friends, the fact that he rarely ever left the house, and most of his music were mopey emo songs about death. Tyler and his mother got into a fight over this.

"You're just wasting your life away, Ty," she shook her head with a sad, pitying look on her face. Tyler knew she meant well, he really did, but he was _tired_ of people staring at him like that. So he was dying. Big whoop. People died every single day.

"What life?" He scoffed. "This is a life? Being hooked up to an oxygen tank because my lungs don't work? Almost _dying_ every few months because they fill up with fluid? Yeah. Great life. I have _so_ much going for me." His mother had cried after that and Tyler felt awful. He had always hated making his mom cry. She did enough of that already with the situation she had been given.

A week passed without much of them talking, Tyler was avoiding his mother and he knew she was avoiding him as well. That Sunday though, she stood in the doorway of his bedroom with her arms folded and a stern look on her face.

"I talked with our pastor and he said that there's this great support group for kids like you," Tyler held back a groan, "at a church nearby. They meet every Tuesday and Thursdays. I think you're going to have a wonderful time there. Those kids will really understand you, sweetie. It'll be good to talk about what you're going through to kids that understand." Tyler didn't argue with her, he simply said, "okay." And that was that.

-

Tuesday rolled around faster than Tyler had been anticipating and before he knew it his mom was dropping him off at the church without so much as a goodbye. He had really been hoping that she was going to come along with him. Tyler took a deep breath, well as a deep as he could manage, closed his eyes and hesitated a moment before he opened them and started walking towards the church.

It was a fairly new building, kind of small, but not necessarily in a bad way. Tyler liked it better that way, not having to struggle up and down a staircase. Tyler dragged his tank behind him, walking past all of the pews. About six other kids were sitting towards the front of the room, chairs spread out in a circle. There were crosses hung up all around them. Tyler tried to smile as politely as he could, but it was almost like you could smell the death on all of the kids. It looked like a bunch of skeletons who could barely hang onto their skin were having a meeting. Is that what he looked like to everyone else?

Three more kids arrived before the leader of the group, a guy that was probably in his late twenties by the name of Ray, opened up with a prayer. Then came the story sharing.

It was five minutes into Brendon Urie's sob story about how he had some complicated eye cancer that Tyler couldn't remember the name of, but he was doing okay because he had this super hot girlfriend named Sarah, when Tyler caught someone staring at him. He turned to the side and made full eye contact with some guy a few seats away that was in fact staring at him. And he didn't even stop when he got caught, just simply kept smiling and looking. Tyler narrowed his eyes, but it didn't phase the guy. He mouthed a ' _what_?' and the guy gave him a mock innocent look, mouthing ' _what_ ' right back at Tyler. The guy was pretty cute, if Tyler was being honest. He was wearing a snapback backwards, a little bit of his pink hair peeking out. It looked like the sides of his head were shaved, nearly to the skin. The guy had a beautiful smile, there was no denying that. It was bright and wide and showed off all of his white, perfect teeth. There was the start of a tattoo peeking out from under his sleeve and Tyler swears he could see the glint of a nose ring in the light.

Tyler was so distracted that he barely noticed Brendon had finished speaking until Ray spoke.

"We're here for you, Brendon," Ray said. "Come on guys, let's let Brendon hear it."

Everyone in the group spoke in unison monotone, "We're here for you, Brendon."

And then it was on to the next person. Four people spoke before it was the cute guy's turn. He stood up, hands in his pockets while he spoke.

"My name's Josh, I'm eighteen and I had osteosarcoma, but I've been in remission for about two years now."

"And how are you feeling?" Ray looked Josh over, face painted in concern.

"I feel great," Josh smiled his beautiful smile and Tyler had to look away. Tyler was busy fiddling with his tube when it came to his turn. He stood from his seat and cleared his throat, looking around the room a bit awkwardly.

"I'm Tyler, I'm seventeen. I had thyroid cancer that met up with my lungs. I'm feeling okay today."

The rest of the hour went by fairly quickly, Tyler and Josh meeting eyes every few minutes only for Tyler to look away with a blush on his face. Neither of the boys spoke until Ray spoke directly to Josh.

"Joshua, maybe you would like to share your fears with the rest of the group. You've been pretty quiet this whole time."

"My fears?" Josh cocked his head to the side, a small smile on his face.

"Yes."

"Uhh.. I fear.." He seemed to think for a moment before continuing. "I fear oblivion." Everyone stared at Josh now, blinking at him with glazed over eyes. Tyler could feel annoyance bubbling up in his stomach.

"Would you care to elaborate on that?" Ray raised an eyebrow. Josh shrugged before he spoke again.

"I'm afraid of dying and not meaning anything to the world. I'm afraid of not being remembered, of not making any sort of impact. Nobody will know who I am and nobody will care. And life will go on without me. That's what I'm afraid of." The room became eerily silent before Tyler snorted. Everyone's gaze shifted to him and Ray beamed.

"Tyler! Would you care to share some advice for Joshua?" Tyler bit his lip before he spoke, staring right into Josh's eyes.

"There's going to be a time when all of us are dead," Tyler spoke in a shaky voice at first, but it steadied out as he continued. "All of us. Not a single human will be around anymore, not a single trace that we were ever here. It won't matter what anybody did, not Alexander the Great, not Martin Luther King Jr, not Marilyn Monroe. Nobody will be left to remember any of them. One day, whether it is coming soon or not for another thousand years, this will all be gone. Everything we have done as a human race will be pointless. That's inevitable. It's always been a fact that one day the Earth is going to get sucked into the sun. It's not something you can change or hide from.. Oblivion isn't some kind of monster under the bed waiting to grab you, it just.. Is."

Silence filled the room again before someone else, Patrick Tyler thinks, starts to talk about his own fears. They ended their session with another prayer and an "Amen" before everyone got up to help themselves to the refreshments and snacks towards the back of the church. Tyler left the group, walking as quickly as he could until he was outside. He texted his mom to let her know that group therapy was over and tapped his foot, looking around as he waited.

Josh walked out of the building with one of the first kids to speak, Brendon, and Tyler thought about hiding behind one of the bushes. While he was considering the idea, however, Josh made his way over, waving a little. Tyler gave him an awkward wave in return and Josh laughed. Brendon said goodbye to the both of them and Tyler watched him run over to a dark haired girl and immediately attach lips with her. Tyler wrinkled his nose and bit back a disgusted noise. Josh stood beside him, face mirroring Tyler's.

"You know, I've been the third wheel for a while now. I thought I'd be used to it, but it just seems to get worse and worse." Tyler laughed softly at that, both boys watching the couple kiss. It looked more like a mauling than a make out session, in Tyler's opinion. "I can deal with it though. I mean Brendon's going to be blind in like two weeks. If I was in his position, I'd probably be acting the same way." Tyler felt Josh's gaze on him and he looked away from Brendon and his girlfriend. "I'm Josh, by the way. Josh Dun." Tyler nodded slowly, picking up on all of the little freckles that were spread across Josh's cheeks and nose.

"I'm Tyler... Tyler Joseph. Nice to meet you."

"Did you know, Tyler Joseph, that you're beautiful? Like really beautiful." Tyler's eyes widened slightly and his cheeks went pink.

"I'm not, I'm.." He started to stutter out before he noticed Josh pulling something from his pocket. Tyler's expression changed from embarrassed to disgusted in nearly a second. "Are you serious right now? You've got to be joking. You just ruined this _whole_ thing!"

"What whole thing?" Josh looked up at Tyler, cigarette hanging from his mouth. He held his hands up to his mouth and lit it, inhaling for a moment and then exhaling a long line of smoke.

"I thought you were cute and all and kind of funny and you were staring at me, and here you go ruining everything by smoking, you had _cancer_ for Pete's sake, you're giving money to a huge corporate company to give you _more_ cancer, like are you kidding me?!" Josh just continued to smoke, smile on his face. Tyler huffed and grabbed the handle on his oxygen tank, spotting his mom's minivan pulling up. He started to walk away when Josh grabbed his hand.

"You think it's a cigarette?"

"Yes! God, I can't believe I fell for the whole cute boy demeanor." Tyler yanked his hand from Josh's grasp.

"It's not a cigarette." Tyler frowned, pausing before he raised an eyebrow.

"It's not?"

"Nope. It's a blunt. You know, like weed." Josh puffed out another drag. Tyler shifted and blinked at Josh.

"Isn't that like... Illegal?"

"I have my medical card. It helped with the cancer and all."

"Oh."

"Have you ever watched the movie V for Vendetta? You kind of remind of Natalie Portman in it, with the shaved head and all." Tyler shook his head, still feeling a little embarrassed that he had yelled at Josh for no reason. "You should watch it some time. With me, that is. Like today. Yeah. You should come over today and watch it with me." Josh finished the blunt just as Tyler's mom pulled up to the curb, rolling down the passenger window. Tyler walked over to the van and peeked his head inside.

"I'm going over Joshua Dun's house to watch a movie. I'll text you later."


	2. two

To say that Josh was a bad driver would be an understatement. Tyler held onto his seatbelt for dear life as the older boy drove them away from the church and to his home. Tyler didn’t think he had ever been so scared for his life, not even after all he had been through.

“How long did you say you’ve had your license?” He asked, gripping the seatbelt so tightly that his knuckles went white. They made a sharp turn and Josh grinned.

“I didn’t say, but I’ve had it for about a year now. I didn’t think I’d get it. I can’t really tell the pressure with my prosthetic and all. I think the guy wanted to fail me, but he was just so shocked that he let me pass.” 

“Ah,” Tyler nodded slowly before they jerked to a sudden halt, in front of a red light. Tyler let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. 

“Do you have your license, Tyler Joseph?” 

“Yeah, I got it a little after I turned sixteen. My parents made me even though I didn’t really see a point. Kind of a waste of money, like where am I going to go? I think they wanted me to feel like a normal teenager though.” Tyler decided to look at Josh rather than the road as soon as the light turned green. It was much less terrifying that way.

Josh turned up the music, that Tyler hadn’t noticed was playing, before pressing down on the gas pedal, his tires screeching a little as the car sped off yet again. Tyler could barely make out what the singer was saying, his voice doing this sad moaning kind of thing over the fast paced guitars and drum cymbals crashing. Josh was singing along and drumming on his wheel, however, rocking out. Tyler didn’t think he needed to be any more distracted with how bad his driving was, so he turned the volume down after the song had finished and cleared his throat.

“So. What band is this?”

“It’s not so much a band, but more of a  _guy_. Frank Iero.” Josh grinned and Tyler raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain. “He’s like. Super amazing. And also super mysterious. Nobody really knows anything about him. He just started releasing music one day and it got really popular. I love his lyrics and just the way he puts his whole soul into the music. You can  _feel_  it, you know?” Tyler nodded slowly. “That’s a guy I’d love to sit down with one day. Just talk.”

“So why don’t you go to one of his shows?” Tyler couldn’t imagine that the guy was that famous as he couldn’t recognize any of the songs that played. 

“He hasn’t played any shows and he hasn’t released music in years. I wish he’d just write something. Just one more song.”

“Your favorite band is some guy that doesn’t play live shows and hasn’t released any new music? How do you live like that?” Both boys laughed and Josh shrugged, making another sharp turn. 

“I don’t know, man. It’s tough. I even wrote him a few letters when I was younger and like thought I wasn’t going to make it. Just to let him know how much his music meant to me. He never answered back though.”

“Aw, that’s kind of sweet. You’re like a little fanboy,” Tyler giggled. “Have you ever thought of like, emailing him? People don’t really do letters anymore.” Josh blinked at the suggestion before scoffing. 

“I highly doubt he emails. He probably doesn’t even own a computer. He doesn’t have any social media. Nobody knows anything about him, like I said. He probably lives in a cave somewhere. Like in  _Antarctica_.”

“Well, I’m sure that cave has wifi and that he has an email.” The conversation ended as soon as Josh pulled into his driveway, putting the car in park. Tyler had to refrain from getting out of the car and kissing the ground. 

They walked into the house, Tyler dragging his oxygen tank behind him as Josh called out that he was home. His parents were in the kitchen, working on dinner. Tyler stood in the doorway a bit awkwardly. Josh’s mom, a short woman with dark hair and a smile just as bright as Josh’s, grinned at the two boys. “Who’s this? You made a friend?”

“Don’t sound so shocked, jeez. His name is Tyler Joseph.” 

“Just Tyler is fine. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Dun.” His mother stepped forward and gave Tyler a warm, very motherly hug before stepping back. 

“Call me Laura, sweetie. It’s nice to meet you too.” Josh’s father was sitting at the table, reading some article in the newspaper. 

“We’re going to go watch V for Vendetta in my room,” Josh started to walk away from the kitchen, but his father spoke up.

“You mean you’ll be watching V for Vendetta in the living room.” He turned a page without even looking up. Tyler was a little surprised. Did Josh bring guys over often? How did his parents know he was gay?

“But-“

“No buts. Living room.”

“I wanted to show Tyler Joseph my room.”

“You can show him your room and then you can come back upstairs to watch the movie in the living room.” 

“I’m making spaghetti tonight. Are you staying for dinner, Tyler?”

“If that’s okay with you guys. I have to be home by ten,” he smiled politely and shifted in the doorway.

“Perfect! Josh has a ten o’clock curfew too-“

“Okay, we’ll see you later, mom.” Josh took hold of Tyler’s arm and led him away from the kitchen, turning down a hall. Josh opened a door and led Tyler down a set of carpeted stairs. 

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Josh walked around in a little circle, arms wide open like he was on MTV cribs or something. Tyler held back laughter as he looked around. In one corner was a queen-sized bed, sheets messy and a few pillows thrown about. Above the bed were a few framed vinyls, upon closer inspection Tyler found that each album belonged to Frank Iero, the guy Josh had been talking about earlier. There was a large TV on the wall directly across from it and a desk with a computer and school supplies scattered across it in another corner. What really caught Tyler’s attention was the mini recording studio set up in Josh’s room. There was a drum kit set up, a pair of large headphones on the stool behind it and a bunch of microphones placed around. 

“That’s pretty sick,” Tyler pointed at the drum set before sitting down Josh’s unmade bed. He tried to steady out his breathing, watching Josh shrug and walk over to the drums. 

“I haven’t played in a little while. I used to love it and all, but after I got my leg taken off it was kind of hard to get used to again.”

“You should start to play again. If that’s what you like to do, I mean. I bet you’re really good.” Josh seemed to have a little blush on his face as he lightly ran his fingers over one of the cymbals, flicking off a little bit of dust.

“Yeah, I mean. Maybe I will. It’d be cool. Are you okay?” Josh looked a little bit worried, stepping closer as Tyler placed a hand over his chest. 

“‘M fine. Just a little hard to move around a lot, you know?” He stood once his breathing had returned to normal and smiled at Josh who had found the DVD amongst the mess in his room. They left Josh’s bedroom and sat down in his living room. Josh set up the DVD player and laid back, his knee touching Tyler’s.

They sat in silence for the first twenty minutes of the movie before Tyler decided to strike up conversation. He didn’t know much about Josh other than the fact that he had cancer, used to play the drums, and had a bit of an obsession with Frank Iero.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Josh blinked, looking away from the screen and to Tyler. 

“I have two sisters and a brother. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious,” Tyler shrugged and tried to lean back into the couch and get more comfortable.

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Have any brothers or sisters?” Josh rolled his eyes a little, smile still on his face. Tyler nodded.

“Yeah, I have two brothers and a sister.”

“Weird. It’s the opposite of me.” They both laughed at that. The two boys made small talk throughout the entire movie. Tyler found out that Josh had gotten cancer when he was fourteen and had to have his leg amputated when he was sixteen. He had been in remission for a while now and was finally getting used to have a prosthetic. He was the oldest of his siblings and had been drumming since he was basically old enough to hold the sticks in his hands. Josh was finishing his senior year at the local high school, having to stay back due to chemotherapy. Brendon also went there and had been one of Josh’s best friends for nearly four years. When the movie finished, Josh looked at Tyler with excitement all over his face.

“Well? What did you think? It was a masterpiece wasn’t it?” Tyler shrugged, watching the credits roll down the screen before he looked at Josh.

“It was kind of sad. I mean. There wasn’t really a happy ending.”

“Of course it was a happy ending, they started a revolution and overthrew the government!” 

Tyler shrugged again, smiling at Josh. “So what? He tortured her and destroyed her. He broke her heart and then at the end when you thought, 'hey maybe they can make up or something', he goes and dies. Because he still wants revenge more than he loves her.” Josh seemed to think about what Tyler had said before he nodded.

“I guess you’re right.” Josh’s mother peeked her head into the room, letting the boys know that dinner was ready. 

They ate with all of Josh’s family, which made Tyler a bit nervous at first, but he relaxed quickly enough. His siblings and parents were kind and funny, cracking jokes and acting as if Tyler had always eaten dinner with them. It was a lot better than the quiet and awkward dinners that his own family had whenever he decided to join them. Tyler helped Josh’s mom clean up after they had all finished eating, to which she was delighted.

“This one is a keeper, Josh,” She patted Tyler’s shoulder with a grin on her face. Tyler blushed and Josh groaned as he dried a few plates. 

“Mom, stop. You’re so embarrassing.” She rolled her eyes and continued to go on about how it was hard to find a good person nowadays and that Josh should be thankful that he had met such a sweet boy as Tyler.

“We aren’t even dating, mom.”

“Okay, sweetie.”

“I’m serious!”

“I know, I know.” She winked at Tyler who’s face was as red as a tomato by then. After they finished cleaning up, they watched another movie, although Tyler didn’t pay much attention, taking the time to study Josh’s profile. He was _really_ attractive. Like seriously.

It was nine o’clock when the second movie ended and they decided that Josh should bring Tyler home, so he wasn’t late. Josh drove a little bit calmer this time and Tyler didn’t have to cling to his seatbelt as tightly. They pulled up to Tyler’s house right around 9:30 and Tyler felt bit sad. He didn’t want to go home, which was odd. Most of the time he hated being around people for more than a couple of hours, but Josh made him feel really at ease.

“Thanks, again.. I really had a great night.” Tyler smiled at Josh before going to open the door.

“Oh! Before you go.” Tyler hesitated, hand on the passenger door as he watched Josh lean over, opening up the glove compartment and fishing through the mess that was inside. “Here. Listen to this and tell me it is not the greatest CD you’ve ever listened to in your life.” He handed Tyler a CD with a cracked casing, the cover matching one of the vinyls that Tyler had seen on Josh’s bedroom wall. “Wait.” Josh took the CD back for a moment and went through the compartment again until he found a sharpie. He wrote something on the back of the CD before handing it to Tyler. “Let me know what you think. Seriously. Have a good night, Tyler Joseph.”

Tyler rolled his eyes at the use of his full name, but smiled at Josh. He felt a little shy. Should he kiss him before he left? Had it even really been a date? Tyler decided against kissing Josh and simply looked at the cover of the CD again and then back at Josh.

“Thanks. I’ll let you know.” He finally got out of the car and walked up his driveway, unlocking the front door. Once he was inside of his room, Tyler closed his eyes and leaned back against his door. His face hurt from smiling so much. 

When he opened his eyes, he flipped the CD case over, pleased to find Josh’s number scribbled on it. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day, i'm on fire. and yeah i added frank iero to the story. hope you guys enjoy!!


	3. three

Tyler went through his closet that night, searching through all of his things until he found exactly what he was looking for. 

He pulled the Walkman out of a mess of other electronics he didn’t use very often along with a pair of headphones. After replacing the batteries, Tyler changed into his pajamas and hooked himself up to the large oxygen concentrator beside his bed. He curled into a ball, Walkman held close to his chest and pressed play. He listened to the entire thirty-seven minutes and forty-two seconds of the album and when it had finished he hesitated before stopping the CD and hitting play again. Tyler had listened to the album four times when he finally fell asleep, halfway through his fifth round. He had even picked up some of the lyrics, humming along.  

Listening to the album made Tyler a little excited as he realized he hadn’t actually listened to music in a while. Sure he had his favorites on his iTunes which he listened to every now and then, but he hadn’t heard any _new_  music in quite some time. Plus, knowing that this was Josh's favorite musician and one of his favorite CDs of all time made it all the better, like if Tyler concentrated on the lyrics enough he was connecting to Josh and learning different things about him. 

-

Tyler’s parents usually didn’t wake him, knowing that he was easily drained and napped often due to his condition, so he was startled when he felt hands on his shoulders, shaking him awake. Tyler sat up quickly, nearly banging heads with his mother and gasping for air.

“Tyler, Tyler, it’s okay. It’s just me.” His mother rubbed at his back and hushed him until his shaky breathing had returned to normal. “I was just worried about you. It’s past noon. You usually never sleep this late.” Tyler rubbed at his eyes and pulled the headphones out of his ears, wrapping them around the Walkman and pushing it to the side.

“I’m sorry, mom. I was up late listening to music. I didn’t think I was up that late though.” His mom gave him a disapproving look, moving away from the bed and going to his window. She opened up the curtains, letting light shine into the room much to Tyler’s dismay. 

“You weren’t talking to that boy from the support group were you?” Tyler nearly began to choke on his own breathing again.

“W-What? No! No, I swear I was listening to music. He gave me a CD to listen to and I lost track of time.” 

“Alright, well no more time wasting. It’s not good for you to be in bed all day. I have to run some errands if you want to come..?” Tyler hesitated before agreeing. He wanted to stop at the mall and see if they had any more of Frank Iero’s albums. His mother left the room and Tyler picked up the CD, entering Josh’s number into his phone before sending the boy a text. 

 

**(xxx)-xxx-4357:** _probably not the best album i’ve heard in my entire life, but definitely a close call. i know what you mean now; he really does put his whole soul into it. it’s really emotional but cool at the same time._

 

Tyler rewrote the text three times before he finally hit send and went to shower. 

He was pleased to see that Josh had texted back when he returned.

 

**josh d:** _Is this Tyler Joseph?_  

 

**(xxx)-xxx-4357:** _yea_

 

**josh d:** _Oh cool. I’m glad u liked the album lol. Could u call me? I’d like to hear ur voice instead of just text._

 

**tyler joseph:** _i’m on my way to the mall with my mom rn. can i call you later?_

 

**josh d:** :(

 

**josh d:** _yeah, I want more details tho. Fav song?? and what are u doing at the mall??_

 

**tyler joseph:** _my mom wanted me to go. i figured i would buy this guy’s other albums while i’m there. favorite song rn is probably.._

 

**tyler joseph:** _stage 4 fear of trying. but it keeps changing the more i listen to the album so idk._

 

**josh d:** _sick._

 

**josh d:** _don’t buy any of the albums. come over later. I’ll burn u a copy of my favs._

 

**tyler joseph:** _but what if you don’t put all of the songs on there?? i could potentially be missing out on some really good stuff just bc it isn’t your favorite._

 

**josh d:** _ok._

 

Tyler frowned at his phone. Had he upset Josh? He had only been playing around. He started to type out an apology, nervously deleting and starting over again and again when his phone buzzed. 

 

**josh d:** _I’ll make u a mix of my favs and then I’ll burn u an exact copy of each album._

 

**tyler joseph:** _okay_ :)

 

They continued to text back and forth until Tyler’s mom yelled at him and asked who exactly he was so preoccupied with. Then she started on a big rant about how he was withdrawing from the family.

“- And I understand that you’re going through your own things right now, sweetie, but so are all of us. We’re all scared for you, Tyler, and we just want to be as close to you as possible. Would it _kill_  you to come to church with us once in a while? Or to one of Zack’s basketball games?” Tyler tried his hardest not to roll his eyes, staying quiet and nodding along to everything his mother said as they walked through the mall.

She went on one of these rants at least once a month. Tyler would go out with the family for an entire week and then he’d go back to staying locked up in his room. And the cycle continued. He knew he should listen to his mother and try to be a better brother, but it was hard. Tyler was six years older than Madison and ten years older than Jay. There was only a two year gap between him and Zack, but after he had gotten sick it was like a bridge was built between him and his family. They didn’t want to talk to Tyler, afraid that he might die in the middle of a conversation or whatever their excuse was, and honestly Tyler would much rather be left alone than have to hold up a forced conversation. He snuck one last text to Josh before putting his phone on silent and storing it away in his sweatshirt pocket.

 

**tyler joseph:** _mom is being emotional. ill txt u when i can._  

 

-

 

Tyler didn’t get to see Josh for an entire week after Josh had initially invited him over. He snuck texts to the pink haired boy whenever he could manage, but his mom was on his back constantly, asking who he was texting and guilt tripping him into spending time with his family. Tyler went to two of Zack’s basketball games, one of Maddie’s practices, and picked up Jay from school every day. He went to church that Sunday with them and skipped support group on Tuesday and Thursday. Oddly enough, his mom didn’t seem to mind. It was a long week, full of fake smiles and awkward silences. His siblings stared at him a lot and Tyler couldn’t tell if it was because they were tiptoeing around him, they were afraid of him, or they hated him. Somehow he felt it was a mixture of all three. 

 

**tyler joseph:** _hey can i come over?_

 

**josh d:** _yeah. brendon is over, is that ok?_

 

**tyler joseph:** _sweet. ill be there soon._

 

Tyler hooked himself up to a portable tank and made his way out of his room, closing the door quietly behind him. He stopped in the living room where his parents were sitting and cleared his throat. His mother looked up, smiling.

“I’m going over Josh’s house for a little while. I’ll be back before ten.”

“Okay, sweetie. Are you sure you’re okay to go out? You look like you’re going to be sick..” Before she could stand up and start with an excuse for Tyler to stay home, he grabbed the car keys and practically ran to the front door.

“I feel fine. Thanks, mom, love you, bye!” He closed the front door behind him and sprinted to ‘his’ car, unlocking the door and starting it up.

After Tyler had gotten his license his parents had put together some money and gotten him a car for his seventeenth birthday. He had barely driven it, but he was grateful that they had gotten him his own car so that he could sneak off every now and then to get away. Tyler copied Josh’s address into his GPS before pulling out of the driveway and starting toward Josh’s house.

He parked on the street, making sure he wasn’t blocking anything of importance before he texted Josh to let him know he had arrived. He waited in his car until he saw the pink haired boy standing in the doorway. 

“Hi.” Tyler smiled shyly once he was standing in front of Josh. Josh grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him inside.

“I’m glad you’re here. I need your help.”

“Uh, okay.” 

“Brendon’s girlfriend broke up with him and it is not looking too pretty.” Tyler’s eyes widened slightly.

“Is it because of his surgery next week?”

“Yeah, I guess she called him and told him she 'couldn’t handle dating a blind guy',” Josh explained as he led Tyler through his house. Tyler waved hello to Josh’s family before frowning.

“What a douche. She didn’t even have the guts to say it to his face?”

“Nope, guess not.” Tyler could hear Brendon’s wailing before Josh even opened his bedroom door. He had never dealt with a breakup before, nor had he ever dealt with somebody else going through a breakup, but he had seen enough movies to know where to start.

They walked down the stairs, Tyler lifting his tank carefully.

Brendon was sitting in Josh’s desk chair, head in his hands. His glasses were on top of his head, pushing back his hair which was messy and sticking up. Tyler looked at Josh who simply shrugged before sighing and stepping toward Brendon. 

“I brought Tyler Joseph from support group. Maybe he can help.” Josh crossed his arms over his chest and stood awkwardly. Tyler sat down on Josh’s bed and reached out, touching his leg gently.

“Hey, Brendon,” Tyler started but Brendon interrupted him.

“Nothing is going to help. I’m going _blind_  in a fucking week and the only girlfriend I’ve ever had just fucking dumped me because _she_  can’t handle that _I’m_ going blind. How the fuck is that supposed to make me feel?! I-I thought sh-she loved me. She said we were going to be together forever and that she didn’t care!” Brendon’s anger quickly turned back into sadness and before Tyler knew it, his head was in his lap. Tyler pulled his glasses off carefully and folded them, placing them to the side before he started to run his fingers through Brendon’s hair. He had always felt better when he was upset and his mom played with his hair. 

“Listen, Brendon, she’s an asshole. You deserve better, but if she can't handle you going blind, she can't handle it. And you can't expect her to, can you?" Brendon made a small noise of acknowledgment and Tyler continued. "There’s plenty of fish in the sea and you’re going to find yourself somebody way better than her. And even if you don’t end up with somebody, you’re still going to find happiness.” Tyler wasn’t one for name calling, but he usually didn’t give pep talks either. Brendon continued to sob into Tyler’s lap for about a half hour before he sat up and rubbed at his puffy, red eyes. He sniffled a few times and stood up, sighing. Josh patted his back a bit awkwardly.

“You good, bro?”

“No. But I don’t feel like crying anymore.” 

Brendon picked up an Xbox controller that was on the floor and sniffled again before he continued a game on Josh’s TV screen. Tyler hadn’t even noticed that the game was paused in the first place. Josh picked up a second controller and sat beside Tyler, eyes focused on the screen. Tyler could vaguely recognize the game and figured it was one of those Call of Duty things. He wasn’t one for shooting games as he personally preferred games like Mario Kart. 

They won a few missions, but Brendon started to get this glazed over look in his eyes and their team began to get killed off.

“Aw, come on, man! I know you’re not on your a-game today but I need your help and-“ The screen went grey and the words, **‘MISSION FAILED’** , flashed across the screen in red. “Crap.” Josh groaned and leaned back on his bed. Brendon’s bottom lip started to tremble and he threw down the remote. 

“S-She said _fo_ _rever_! How could she break her promise like that?!” Brendon started to kick the chair he had been sitting in and Josh sat up, this wild grin on his face. Tyler noticed he had a pipe and lighter in his hand now and wondered when he managed to grab it. 

“Yeah, that’s right. Kick the crap out of that chair. Show that chair who’s boss.” Brendon continued to fight with the chair, kicking and punching it.

Tyler watched while Josh smoked on the side of him. Josh offered the bowl to Tyler, but Tyler shook his head, pointing at his oxygen tank. Josh nodded, as if he had forgotten that Tyler’s lungs didn’t work and finished the bowl by himself. He started to pack another one, but this time offered it to Brendon. The boy hesitated before he snatched the pipe from Josh’s hand. This time he smoked it all by himself, spreading out on Josh’s floor once he had finished. Tyler was thankful that Brendon seemed to be calmer.

“Life fucking sucks, man,” Brendon breathed out, staring up at the ceiling.

“And then you die,” Josh hummed in agreement. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter woah. i wasn't too happy with the way i ended it but whatever.. enjoy!!


	4. four

After Brendon was deemed calm enough to go home, his mother came and picked him up. Both Tyler and Josh gave him a hug before he left, saying final words of encouragement. 

“Well,” Josh sighed as he plopped down on his bed. Tyler ran his hands over his thighs and laughed a little.

“That was certainly something. You know, you’re giving me a lot of first experiences, Josh.” Josh raised an eyebrow, cute smile on his face.

“Really? And what exactly do you mean by that?”

“Well, I just dealt with my first breakup. You’re the first person that I’ve ever texted besides  a family member. You’re also the first person that I’ve actually hung out with outside of church or family. It’s been quite the experience these past two weeks.” Tyler felt a little embarrassed that he was admitting these things to Josh, but Josh didn’t seem to care. In fact, he seemed to like the fact that he was breaking Tyler into the outside world. 

“Well, Tyler Joseph, I can be your first for _many_  things.” Both boys went red at that and Josh coughed a little. “That came out the wrong way. I guess. But you know what I mean.”

“Do I?” Tyler teased. “I think you’re trying to woo me, Josh.”

“Is it working?” Tyler laughed so hard that he ended up having to turn the oxygen flow on his tank up. Josh laughed as well and grinned at Tyler as if he was the most precious thing in the world. “Okay, all joking aside, we need to get you updated on the rest of Frank Iero’s music.” Tyler nodded and calmed down, making a serious face. Josh stood up and walked over to the stereo that was set up on his desk and fumbled around before music started to play through the speakers. 

“This is the mix of my favorites, which I will give to you before you leave. And these,” he handed Tyler two blank CDs, “Are the full albums for you to keep and listen to and decide for yourself what your favorites are.” Tyler thanked Josh before placing the CDs in a neat pile on the side of him. 

“You know, I’m really surprised that your parents didn’t come downstairs to find out what was going on. Brendon was pretty loud, especially when he started to fight your chair.” Josh chuckled and gave a slight shrug.

“My mom trusted you to keep the situation calm, I think. She likes you a lot. Way more than any of the other guys that I’ve brought home.” Tyler blushed at that, playing with his cannula. 

“Yeah, I noticed that you’re out to your parents. That’s kind of cool.”

“Having cancer made it pretty easy to come out,” Josh shrugged again, scrolling through his phone now. “My parents don’t really care about who I’m with, as long as I’m alive. Why? Are your parents weird about it..? I mean, are you even gay? I kind of assumed, but I never really asked.” 

“Uhm. I don’t really know. I’ve never been interested in relationships or people for that matter. I mean, I’ve had crushes on celebrities and stuff. Guys and girls. You’re like.. The only person that I’ve ever actually liked.” Tyler trailed off for a moment and then spoke again. “I’ve never really said anything about it and neither have they. I think they’d be okay with it though. I mean, it’s like you said. Having cancer should make it easy. As long as I’m alive, I don’t think they’d care much.” Josh was staring at Tyler now, frowning slightly. He didn’t say anything, though, putting his phone down. Tyler met his eyes and smiled shyly, letting go of his cannula. They stared at each other until Tyler’s phone began buzzing like crazy, bringing both boys out of their little trance. Tyler picked up the phone without bothering to look at who it was, already having a pretty good idea.

“Hi, mom… Yes, I’m with Josh… I got here like two hours ago, I think… No, we haven’t eaten yet.. Um.. I can ask..” Tyler pulled the phone away from his mouth and looked at Josh. “Do you wanna come over for dinner? Like right now? I know it’s sudden, and it’s okay if you can’t-“

“Sure.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve been wanting to meet your family,” Josh grinned. 

“Okay.” Tyler bit his lip before putting his phone back in place. “We’ll be there in like fifteen minutes. Alright. Love you. Bye.” Tyler hung up and released a nervous breath. “Crap.”

“What?” Josh cocked his head to the side.

“I’m just.. I’m just warning you that my family isn’t really like yours. They’re probably not going to be as like friendly and stuff and.. I just don’t want you to think they hate you or anything, because I’m sure they’ll love you, they just are.. Weird.” Tyler shrugged and stood up, shaking a little. Josh was going to hate him. He was going to leave as soon as dinner was over and he would never talk to Tyler again. Josh took hold of Tyler’s hands and held them steady in his own. 

“Hey. Relax. I’m sure it’s going to be great.” Tyler bit his lip and nodded before pulling his hands away from Josh. He grabbed the CDs and his keys before walking towards the stairs. Josh turned off his stereo, taking out the mixed CD and following Tyler out of his room.

“I’m going over Tyler’s for dinner, mom, I’ll be back later!” Josh called out. He got an, ‘okay, sweetie, have fun!’ in return and the two boys left. 

While they were driving toward Tyler’s house, Josh grabbed the hand closest to him and squeezed it. 

“It’s going to be okay.” 

 

-

 

Tyler’s mom opened the door before Tyler even had a chance to unlock it. 

“Hi!” She had a plastic smile stretched so far across her face that Tyler thought it might crack and shatter everywhere. “You must be Joshua, it’s so nice to meet you! Come in, come in. Dinner’s already finished.” Tyler followed Josh inside of the house, gritting his teeth a little. As long as she was being nice, Tyler didn’t really care if she was being fake. 

“Thanks for having me, Mrs. Joseph.” Tyler’s mom waved her hand, continuing to smile.

“It’s my pleasure. I wanted to meet the famous Joshua that Tyler has been talking to nonstop lately.” Tyler groaned a little and covered his face. Tyler’s father was in the living room, taking off his jacket and removing his tie. It seemed that he had just gotten home from work. He said hello to Josh and shook his hand, saying it was nice to meet him. 

They all sat down for dinner, including Tyler’s siblings, and Tyler’s father gave grace before they dug in. It was awkward and quiet at first, everyone staring at Josh but not saying anything until his youngest sibling, Jay, finally blurted out a question.

“Does your hair grow pink?” Tyler closed his eyes, feeling a little irritated already. 

“No, I wish it did, but I have to dye it to make it this color. I’ve had all types of other colors before.” The seven year old’s eyes seemed to bug out of his head in amazement.

“Really? That’s cool! So could you have like.. _Blue_ hair?” Josh smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, I used to have blue hair actually. I could show you a picture later.” Jay nodded excitedly at that and Maddie started to ask Josh questions about his hair as well. It was going pretty smoothly until Zack decided to interrupt with a bold question.

“So, do you have cancer too?” The room was quiet and Tyler’s mother scolded him, saying that that was personal information, but Josh didn’t seem to mind at all.

“I did, but I’ve been in remission for a little while now. I had osteosarcoma and had to have my leg removed, but I’ve been good for a while.” Tyler’s parents smiled slightly and his mom reached over, squeezing Josh’s shoulder.

“That’s wonderful to hear, Joshua.” 

“Wait, so how do you walk if you had to get rid of your leg?” Madison blinked at Josh and Jay nodded, looking equally as curious. 

“I have a prosthetic. A fake leg.”

“Like a pirate?” Jay gasped.

“I guess. Kind of. Not as cool though,” Josh laughed. Madison and Jay began to squeal and launched into a discussion of how much they liked pirates. When dinner was over, Tyler helped his mother clean up while Josh went to play with his younger siblings. 

“So,” Tyler glanced at his mother as they loaded up the dishwasher together. 

“So,” she repeated, not looking up.

“Do you like him?”

“He seems very nice. He’s cute too.” Tyler relaxed a little, face cracking into a small smile.

“Really? You think so?”

“Mhmm.. He has a nice smile. Is he in school?” Tyler nodded and immediately began to list all of the _amazing_ qualities that Josh had, as if he was trying to sell him to his mother. When he had finished, his mom shut the dishwasher and turned one of the dials.

“Well. Is he your boyfriend yet?” 

“Uh. No. Not yet. I don’t think we’re going to date.”

“And why not?” His mom crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the counter. Tyler scoffed a little.

“He’s like.. _Way_ out of my league, mom.” Before she could interrupt, Tyler continued. “Plus. People don’t date people like me. I mean, he’s cancer free. He knows that cancer is terrible, why would he want to get sucked back into that?” Josh walked into the room before Tyler’s mom had a chance to argue with him, Jay holding onto one of his legs and giggling like crazy. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt or anything, but I gotta head home. One of my friends just dropped off some schoolwork that I missed and I’m really behind and yeah..” Tyler moved away from the counter, smiling as he carried along his tank. 

“I’ll drop you off, come on.” 

They had to literally pry his little brother off of Josh, Josh promising to come back and play with him again before they left. Tyler wouldn’t admit it ever, but he was a tiny bit jealous at how much better Josh got along with his siblings than he did. He dropped Josh off at his house, making sure the boy got inside safely before he headed home. 

When he got back, he went right to his room, closing his door behind  him and grabbing his laptop. He decided to do some snooping around the internet.

 

-

 

Tyler didn’t call Josh until three days later. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to the older boy, but rather he was spending his every waking moment searching the internet trying to hunt down Mr. Frank Iero. People didn’t just disappear, and Tyler wanted to find this guy for Josh. He listened to nothing but the CDs Josh had burned for him on repeat, which seemed to only fuel his fire. Tyler sent three different emails to his producer, but he didn’t get anything in return. The internet was pretty much no use because, as Josh had said, there was _nothing_ about Frank Iero on it. Even his Wikipedia page was pretty bare, simply stating that he had been born in New Jersey and had lived there most of his life. He had released his music one day out of the blue and then there was nothing more. No addresses, no band members, no family, nothing for the past five years.

And then suddenly it hit Tyler that _maybe_ , instead of looking for Frank Iero himself, he should have been looking for an assistant of some sorts. Famous people always had those.

Sure enough, Tyler found this said person, a failed comic book artist by the name of Gerard Way who was currently residing in Italy. The guy had a personal blog and even a Facebook which stated that his job position was Frank Iero’s assistant. 

Tyler hesitated before sending Gerard a friend request.

He felt nervous for some reason, so he decided to get up and shower for once instead of staring at the screen and waiting for a response. To his delight, he returned to find that his request had been accepted. He sat back down on his bed and cracked his knuckles, typing out a much friendlier message this time around.

 

> _Dear Mr. Way,_
> 
>  
> 
> _I am terribly sorry that I tracked you down on the internet and if you find this message to be invasive, please feel free to simply delete it and block me. My best friend has been trying very hard to get a hold of Mr. Frank Iero, sending letters to both Mr. Iero, the record company, and his producers, but all of his attempts have failed. Because I have no way of contacting him myself, it  would be much appreciated if you could please send the following letter that I have attached to Mr. Iero. Thank you._
> 
>  
> 
> _Tyler Joseph_

 

**(1 attachment)**

 

> _Mr. Frank Iero,_
> 
>  
> 
> _If you are reading this, first let me start by thanking you for taking the time to do so. Second, I would like to apologize for creeping on your personal assistant through social media, but it seemed there was no other way to contact you. All of this aside, I would like to discuss your music and the albums that you have released in the past._
> 
> _I am not writing this message for my own sake, although I do enjoy your music, but I am writing it on behalf of my best friend. As a matter of fact, I had never heard of your band until I met this young man. His name is Joshua Dun and though I am sure you hear this very often, he is your **biggest** fan. Both of us have had the misfortune of being infected with cancer, which is actually how we met. Your music has really touched both of our hearts, especially Joshua’s. I know for a fact that he would love to hear from you and to speak with you about the meaning behind some of your songs as well as his own interpretations of them. Let it be noted that I have a bit of a crush on Joshua, so getting you to speak to him is **very**  important to me. That being said, I leave the rest up to you._
> 
>  
> 
> _Thank you, for both your time and your music._
> 
>  
> 
> _Tyler Joseph_
> 
>  

After listing his contact information, Tyler hit the send button and held his breath as the little check mark appeared and then switched to Gerard’s icon, letting Tyler know that he had read the message. Gerard began to type and Tyler sat, hunched over his computer and practically sweating with nervousness until Gerard finally answered.

 

“Hello, Tyler! No problems, I am more than happy to help. I have passed the message on to Frank and he should be getting back to you soon. Have a great day/night!”

 

Tyler stared at his screen, a bit stunned as Gerard sent over one of the little heart eyes emojis as well. Had it really been that easy? All of this time wasted on trying to find the mysterious Frank Iero and here his assistant had been, right on Facebook.

Tyler thanked Gerard before closing out of Safari and shutting off his laptop. He went to sleep after that, deciding that he would wait to see if he actually got a response before he even told Josh. 

 

-

 

It didn’t take long for Tyler to get his response, this time in an email from _the_  Frank Iero himself. Tyler didn’t read it, picking up his phone and calling Josh as quickly as he could manage.

“…Hello?” Josh sounded a bit sleepy and Tyler cursed himself for not looking at the time. He had probably woken Josh up.

“Hi.”

“Tyler Joseph,” Tyler could almost hear the smile in Josh’s voice. “How are you doing on this.. Fine.. Morning?”

“I’m okay, how are you, Josh?” 

“I’m doing great, thank you. Do you need anything or did you just miss the sound of my voice?” Tyler blushed, his voice getting a little shaky as he answered.

“While I do love hearing your voice, so very much, I called you to ask you a question about Frank Iero.”

“Go on.”

“You said that he probably lived under a cave somewhere, right?”

“…Yes..”

“Impossible to track down?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Dear Mr. Joseph,” Tyler started to read, voice becoming less shaky as a grin spread across his face. “Although I have always preferred the old-fashioned way of letter writing myself, it is much easier and quite frankly, cheaper, to respond through email.”

“No freakin’ way,” Josh breathed into the phone.

Tyler took a deep breath, noting that it was slightly difficult, before he continued. “Your friend Joshua is very lucky to have someone like you around to go out of his way to find and contact someone who has tried very hard to drop off of the face of the Earth.”

“Are you messing with me, Tyler Joseph?” 

“I enjoyed reading your message, however, I would rather not answer any questions through email as I find it very impersonal. Also, how could I be sure that you would not spread that email across the internet? If you or Mr. Dun should ever find yourself in Rome, I would be more than happy to sit down and discuss my music with you. Best of luck to the both of you, Frank A. Iero Jr.” Tyler thought that the other line went dead until he heard Josh let out an excited _squeal_.

“Oh my God, oh my _God_. How did you even find him?!”

“I looked up his personal assistant and ended up sending him a friend request on Facebook.”

“I’m so excited, I don’t even know what to _do_ right now. I mean we technically got invited to _Frank Iero’s_ house! What does this even mean?”

“Uh, it means that we’re going to Italy, duh.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided to write another chapter today. it's pretty long, but i think it was necessary. enjoy!


End file.
